Welp, pretty crazy thing to see isn’t it. When so many people helped me get to where I am, prayed so many prayers, and worked so hard.
And for what?
Was it all for not?
Well… Extra! Extra! Read All About it!
I… Don’t… Wanna… Go…
It is 11 months.
It is 11 countries.
It is scary.
It is daunting.
So…
What in the world do I mean?!
Well just that I don’t wanna go. Not to the mission trip. Not to work. Not to the next step. Not by myself at least…
I heard a song recently it is by Chris Renzema, it is titled “I don’t wanna go.”
Let’s start from the beginning.
It starts with David in the first verse. And talks about the building of the temple. David wanting to bring praise to God and acknowledge that God’s ways aren’t our own. Just like David I want to follow God’s ways not my own, while I give Him praise for His guidance and love.
Then we see a picture of Israel standing on a shore. Scared. Afraid. What is gonna happen next? There is just huge waves crashing back and forth. But just like He did for Israel God will make a way through the wild. He says, “where you go I will go and where you stay I will stay.” And just like Israel despite the HUGE sea in front of me that seems like I’m trapped between a rock and a hard place I know He will make a way. I want to go with Him and stay with Him. Through thick and thin.
We move on to Moses when Moses wanted to see the land. Though I may not see His full plan, I know He will guide me through the deserts of my life.
Then we hear about Peter on a hill seeing God. And Peter wanted to stay there. He wanted to be with Him. I want to be with God. I want to be in His presence and never leaving His side.
Now last verse talks about Jesus in the Garden. When Jesus asked God to take the cup from Him. Because it wasn’t easy it was scary. But like Jesus followed God even unto death, even death on a cross. I will do this. I will follow God until death. Nothing will separate me and My Father. In this verse he says “You don’t call where you won’t lead.” I will fully whole-heartedly follow God. His will is better than my own. I trust His will more than my own. I don’t want my will in my life. I only want His will to be done. I will love like He loves. I will bleed as He bleeds. I will wake up each tiring morning pick my cross up and carry it.
And as the chorus says, “I don’t wanna go if You’re not going before me.” So, no I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go anywhere where my God won’t lead me. And I am thankful that I have the best Leader to follow on this mission trip. I’m thankful that I have the best Father who allows me, yes even me, to be His hands and feet.
This is the YouTube link to the song https://youtu.be/nZ_LUCVdh-o
Thank you to all who have helped financial, spiritually, and through prayer. You are a blessing to me. I am beyond grateful for every one of you. I want you to know that we don’t have to go through this life alone. He is our guide. He will lead if you let Him. His will be done.
